In October 1982, Andy Adair caught the winning pass that sealed Homecoming victory for the University High School Pioneers. By June 1983, he stood before our graduating class, delivering his address with that same vibrant confidence —still walking with a crutch, still adjusting to life with a partially missing limb after his right leg was amputated below the knee. And by April 1984, many of those same teammates who cheered him on in triumph were sitting together in sorrow at his funeral.
I went to school with Andy. He was one of the “cool kids,” and I was not. But what made him stand out wasn’t just his wide-receiver speed — it was his character. He was our star football player, National Honor Society member, school newspaper writer, and profoundly kind.
Then Andy got cancer. A severe muscle strain turned out to be aggressive osteosarcoma. Within weeks, whispered prayers replaced cheers. Yet Andy returned to school, crutch in hand, and was crowned Homecoming King.
A hospice nurse once told me: “People die like they live.” Thanatology (the study of death, dying and bereavement) supports this — how we live shapes how we die. But hope remains: a 2021 meta-analysis found 68 percent of terminally ill patients shift from bitterness to peace in their final six months through counseling, forgiveness, and spiritual care (Oechsle et al., 2021).
Scripture agrees. Paul learned contentment in chains (Phil. 4:11). Jacob limped into a new name (Gen. 32:28). Change is possible.
Andy’s life showed it. After amputation, he returned to class, wrote for the paper, accepted the crown — choosing connection over isolation. His courage in those months modeled the very grace that can transform a bitter ending into one of peace.
Cicely Saunders, the founder of modern hospice, taught that resolving relational pain cuts existential distress by 50 percent in dying patients.
So be encouraged if you know someone who is struggling. Peace is still within reach. One conversation, one act of grace, can rewrite the ending. Andy proved it. Science and Scripture confirm it.
Griever’s Toolbox
If you are struggling, consider making an appointment with a grief coach or counselor. Or at the very least set a date to meet a friend for a “coffee cup counseling session.” You will be glad you did.
Debbie Simler-Goff, Certified Mental Health Coach (AACC) Email: debbiesimler@gmail.com
