Last week, we explored how grief can interrupt normal sleep patterns, leaving many people awake deep into the night. This week let’s talk about what can help.
If you are otherwise healthy and functioning, but three to six months after your loss you still struggle with sleeplessness, it’s time to seek help. The first step is to be honest with your doctor. Sleeplessness may seem “just emotional,” but grief-related stress affects every part of the body and can worsen chronic health conditions.
Still, some find that the quiet hours of night become a spiritual battleground more than a medical one. Author Dee Brestin, in “The God of All Comfort,” describes lying awake after her husband’s death: “In the middle of the night, when the world was dark and quiet, my grief screamed the loudest.” Those words capture the intense loneliness and vulnerability that often accompany sleepless nights in grief. Many of my clients echo the same experience — the mind racing with memories, the heart aching with absence and the soul wrestling with questions that daylight distractions might temporarily quiet. In these hours, grief is not simply physical exhaustion or restlessness; it is a profound spiritual struggle that cries out for acknowledgment, prayer and the quiet assurance that God’s presence is near even when sleep feels impossible.
So what can you do? Here are a few gentle practices:
• The Worry Journal: Write down racing thoughts and prayers before lying down.
• Rituals of Comfort: Brew a small cup of herbal tea, listen to soft worship music, or read a Psalm before bed.
• Invite God Into the Night: David wrote, “On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night” (Psalm 63:6).
Grief does not run on a timetable. For some, sleep slowly returns; for others, help is needed to reset the body and soul. But whether through medical support, spiritual practices, or the company of a trusted friend, rest is possible again.
The silence of night may roar now, but you are not alone in it. God is present in every watch of the night, whispering peace where grief screams loudest.
Griever’s Toolbox
If you wake and can’t fall back asleep, don’t fight it. Sit up, pray, or read a Psalm aloud. Invite God’s presence into the quiet.
Debbie Simler-Goff, Certified Mental Health Coach (AACC) Email: debbiesimler@gmail.com
