Put 500,000 quarters in the parking meter, please

ONE MORE TIME

Comment & Observation

By Joe Lee III

     Recently, at the suggestion of a reader, we encouraged drivers to use their headlights on the road. (Reminder: Please use your headlights when you wipers are on.)

     Today, I want to address an item that scares me to death.

     In the evening and very early in the morning, I frequently encounter walkers in my neighborhood and other parts of town.

     Aside from making me feel guilty for not exercising, many of these walkers or runners are wearing dull or even dark apparel. This is so dangerous.

     Please invest in a reflective vest. You can get one for $5 or $10. Isn’t your life worth that?     

     If you do not have a reflective vest, put an oversize white T-Shirt over your clothing.

     Some people thing red is good. It is not. Take it from an old printer and photography teacher. Red is not a reflective color. You can put reflector material in it, but a red sweater or red coat absorbs more light than it reflects.

Unbelievable

     A group of dedicated Ole Miss football fans recently renewed the documents for their annual ritual.

     Sadly, the leader of the group – the one who had handled all the paperwork over the years – recently died. His son volunteered to take over the task.

During the conversation, the son mentioned that his father had died. The university spokesman asked if he wanted to renew the three parking places associated with the ticket purchase. He said “sure.”

That’ll be $125,000, the spokesman said.

It seems that habitual season ticket buyers earn points that keep the parking places reasonable. (Maybe “reasonable” is not a reasonable word here.)

I have been told there’s a formula something like ten points for each $1,800 you spend on tickets, and, something like 1,250 points earns you a parking pass.

     It appears that when you die, your points die with you. (If someone has more accurate info about this rip-off, send me an e-mail.)

     Just be thankful that we in Mississippi have our priorities right. We don’t waste money on trivialities like education. We spend our money directly on the important things like football tickets, Grove parties, and parking places.

Also Unbelievable

     How about that Berkeley game?

     Berkeley spends more time running off conservative speakers than it does practicing football.

     Come to think of it, considering Ole Miss’ leftist leanings, it is becoming the Berkeley East of the Big River.

     Maybe it will help ease the pain of the loss if we think of the game as Berkeley East vs. Berkeley West – sort of a Red Blue Spring game.

     It’s would be the politically correct thing to do!

     Pity poor Alabama. Having to face Berkeley East of the River after a humiliating defeat like that, plus a week’s rest.

     Alabama beware! The Big Bad Bears of Oxford will be hungry!

     Who knows, Berkeley East may get so mad they change their names to the Land Sharks.

     That will really have ’Bama trembling in their cleats!