Old Clovis ready for some football


Commentary By Arnold Dyre  

   For quite a while now, our old Clovis has been counting down the days until Ole Miss plays the first football game of the season.
   When we initially calculated the days and wrote it on the eraser board in Clovis’ apartment at Sunnybrook Estates, he seriously doubted if he could live that long. Now, with football only days away, Clovis is virtually certain that he will make it!
   Clovis even knows what time the game will start and admits that he is concerned if I can stay awake long enough to see the kickoff. Note that I said Clovis is worried about my staying awake, not himself! I do have a tendency to fall asleep in the big recliner that Clovis always yields to me whenever I arrive at his place. When I try to get him to stay comfortably situated in the recliner, Clovis vigorously tells me, “No, this is your chair!”
   Generally, Clovis delights in observing how quickly I fall asleep when I get settled into the recliner;  however, if there is a good game going on or soon expected on television, Clovis admonishes me to stay awake and threatens to “hot foot” me if I fall asleep.
   “Hot footing” is a procedure Clovis first learned in the Army Air Corps and consists of sticking a match in the seam of a sleeping comrade’s shoe. Once the match is lighted, Clovis says he has never seen it fail to wake someone up, although, one time, he says he and his buddies almost burned the barracks down.
   Fearful of getting “hot footed” during the upcoming Ole Miss/Vanderbilt televised contest, I plan on napping earlier during game day so that I will be well-rested and able to stay awake even in the recliner. With the scheduled 8:15 p.m. starting time, I have suggested that Clovis ought to maybe, himself, take an afternoon nap that day, but Clovis rejects the suggestion, saying, “At my age, I don’t want to run the chance of dying in my sleep before the kickoff.”
   Clearly, old Clovis and I are having fun waiting for our team’s gridiron season to begin. We are planning pizza and ribs and even beer. Clovis’ doctor says, “I am not about to tell someone who has lived for over 97 years that he cannot drink a beer when he wants to. Clovis has already proved that he knows more about staying alive than I do.”
   One time I put some water in a beer can and put it in the refrigerator. When Clovis announced that he thought he would have a beer, I quickly offered to get it for him. I retrieved the can of chilled water and made a big show of opening it and putting it in one of the can huggers that Clovis likes to use. Clovis took a couple of swallows before declaring, “This beer does not taste right!”
   Now, old Clovis will gladly let me get up out of the recliner and get beer for him but he wants to open it himself!

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