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Dyre
 
   Commentary by Arnold Dyre
   I have a history of “telling it like it is” regarding my precious Beverly.
   I have told the almost unbelievable story of Beverly’s running out of gas repeatedly in the same place.
   I have told about her ability to talk and make reasonable sense while asleep with her eyes open.
   Beverly’s antics have confounded customs officials, law enforcement officers, and physicians.
   Do not dare ask Beverly to give directions!
   I have not written a story about it, but it is a fact that Beverly seriously wanted to build a house without a kitchen.
   Beverly is full of surprises and is never dull. Beverly is an avid shopper and once managed to shop all night in a store that was closed, and no one ever knew it because they had opened again by the time she was ready to check out.
   One time before the days of heightened airport security, Beverly orchestrated a frenzied cab ride to Houston’s International Airport with numerous hanging bags of the latest fashions from Lord & Taylor, managed to get the airline to hold the plane for us, and got all the fashion loot aboard without breaking a sweat. The plane’s other occupants thought they were flying with a celebrity.
   Recently, Beverly and I have been watching old reruns of the George Burns and Gracie Allen television show. Beverly is a whole lot like Gracie!
   There is a good deal of drama involved in living with Beverly. I have to be constantly alert to keep up with her.
   Old Clovis repeatedly tells me, “The only way to get ahead of Beverly is to walk in front of her.”
   I recall an occasion when I was not “in front” of Beverly when we got home late one night and prepared to enter the house. We had failed to leave on an outside light, and I had trouble seeing and handling the door lock with arms full of Beverly’s shopping haul.
   As soon as the door swung open, Beverly advanced into the darkened interior and, with loaded arms, I could not manage to reach the light switch just inside the door. Enveloped by darkness, I called out to Beverly, “Go to a light!”
   Beverly quickly retorted, “Do I look like a moth?”

adyre@comcast.com



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